Six Sentence Sunday 1

My first ever submission to Six Sentence Sunday, recommended to me by the wonderful  Lorien Velez.

This is a piece plucked from a my first erotic short story, which isn’t quite ready to go live, I’m not confident enough with it yet to put it up, please reply if you feel like it, I’m in the need of some feedback – I hope you enjoy. Ax

           ——————————————————————————————-

They hadn’t really made it past the front door, it had unfolded, urgent and lustful. He had fucked her hard, a primal urge he couldn’t control: the heavy sweet smell of sex still lingering in the room. It was holding him, caressing him, keeping his head spinning, and heart pounding; but she was gone.

He could hear the shower running,  the warm steam dancing to it’s own seductive tune. Her silhouette had stopped him from moving any closer, his eyes drawn to her form, her nipples pert on the crest of her breast,  the soft curve of her back, all of her was swirling and tumbling around in his thoughts.

He was going to taste her again, but now he was going to take his time.

———————————————————————————————-

Especially for Gayle Ramage, I get lost in his eyes.

Ralph Fiennes

23 thoughts on “Six Sentence Sunday 1”

  1. Hi, and welcome!

    I like the descriptions in this piece, especially the line about the steam. And all I can say with regards to the last line – ‘what a lucky girl!’ (especially if the guy looks anything like Ralph Fiennes.. well, he did when I was reading it anyway, lol).

    Gayle

  2. Welcome to SSS! I Really like your use of alliteration to create emotion and movement. Very evocative.

  3. I’d never heard of SSS before, but I have to say you’ve got a sexy voice. A few problems with passive voice and punctuation, but I think you have talent for sensual erotic romance. Good luck

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